Purpose

     Hi, I'm Samantha Loose and I'm the daughter of an Army Brat. While I have no experience with what it's like to be a child of the army myself, growing up I have heard short stories here and there about what my mother's life was like. Hearing more about her experiences and then comparing them to how I was brought up has been really interesting, and I loved learning how her childhood shaped her into the woman and mom she is today.

     Reviewing statistics and learning about the lives of Army Brats more in depth helps me to understand more about my mother, and also the countless other children with parents in the army. The purpose for the blog is to not only open the eyes to others around me who may not know what it's really like to be an Army Brat, but to also share my mother's experiences and my own. The Army Brat subculture is one that many are apart of, and also one that not many people know enough about.

Army Brat Statistics

Interview with my Mom

For my first inquiry into the lives of Army Brats, I interviewed my mom. Here is what she had to say. 

1. How many times did you move as a child (before you moved out of your parents’ home)?

8-10 times

2. Did you ever have to leave behind someone you called your “best friend”?

One Person

3. If yes, did you keep in touch with that person after you moved?

             

No

4. Approximately what portion of the year would you be separated from your father? (If it varies, just give estimates)

 6 month-8 months a year

5. How do you think being raised the way you were verses a “normal” upbringing changed the person you are today?

I learned to fend for myself and not ask for help

Because of all the movement as a child I was never great at anything because as soon as I’d start learning something, we’d move.  I was good at a lot of things.

The rules were clear as a child and the “do on to others as you would have them do on to you” has stayed with me all my life.

I figured out how to get around or go through barriers to get what I  needed and as a result I’ve never felt like I couldn’t make it on my own or not be able to take care of my family

I learned to make fast friends but not deep friends

If it’s fight or flight I’ll fight.  A part of me actually likes a good fight, but afterwards I question my actions.

I learned to establish my dominance very quickly in a room full of people I didn’t know if I’m pushed on. I’ll stay quiet until that point. Kids are mean to new kids and quickly I  learned to survive.

Things that make most of my girlfriends cry, don’t make me cry. I have a hard time understanding weakness and empathizing with people.  I was brought up to “just get it done”. I’ve had to work at trying to understand and talk to people who have a half glass full glass. To a large extent, I surround myself with strong personalities.

6.     How has your upbringing influenced the way you raise your own children?

It was incredibly important to me to bring the kids up in a nice suburban town that afforded them the kinds of stability I never had.

I was belted as a child for being a little late, telling a little lie, or mouthing off. I tried very hard to allow my kids to question me, not to belt them, and not be to so strict that they would rebel later.  I tried to teach them to respect others, but tried to give them the opportunity to speak their mind.

I wanted to provide them the ability to excel at anything they wanted.  IF they wanted to do a certain sport or hobby, I’d get 100% behind it if possible.

7.     Is there anything you’d like to add about your lifestyle?

Everyday still provides a lesson, and a better way of doing something. I try to not carry pain forward but carry the lessons I’ve learned along the way. 

Grandfather, Bart Johnson, flying his A4 jet

Her Life in Mine

My mother has always been the strongest personality in my life. She’s tough inside and out, but that doesn’t mean she lacks basic human emotion. She has been her own boss for as long as I remember, which makes her responsible for her 25 employees, requiring that “stern yet compassionate” personality type.

I’ve always known she was a child of the army, and that her life has been anything but easy; however when I went through his interview with her, key pieces of her personality began to make more sense. In my house growing up, I had a lot of say in what my life would be like. I was allowed to join any sport I wished to be apart of, and I had the most say in what we could have for dinner. As a kid, this had little to no meaning, however, as I’ve grown up, I realize that my life has been quite different from that of many of my peers. I’ve had privileges that most kids have never had access to, and going through this interview with my mom, I now know why.

She said it herself, “It was incredibly important to me to bring the kids up in a nice suburban town that afforded them the kinds of stability I never had.” My mom wanted my brother, sister, and I to have everything she missed in life that she wishes she had. This can be anything from a college education to a short career in figure skating. I am a friend with all of my neighbors, and if I need to borrow a cup of sugar, I am never short of help. However, my mom grew up within a life where you were required to be self-reliant. It was very eat-or-be-eaten.

Although I have always had people there to support me, my mother has made sure that I can also be very self-reliant.  She sent me off to school knowing that I could do things on my own, and still enjoy aspects of life back in Burlingame, California. One thing I recall my mom telling me about her childhood was that when she lived in South Lake Tahoe, she had to walk a mile to elementary school alone daily. Of course, times were different then. Parent’s weren’t always so paranoid about their children being taken, and there was much more leniency; however, I can’t imagine my mom allowing me as a 10 year old to walk more than 2 blocks by myself.

What stood out to me most during my mom’s interview was the piece about her being belted as a child. Again, times were different, but that doesn’t mean that things like that don’t stick with you. She allowed my siblings and I to question her methods, even though she knew she ultimately had the power of saying “because I said so”, and I believe that this is the reason I sometimes question the ways of others to this day. Most of all, my mother wanted to teach us respect, yet still have our own opinions. I see this in my life quite often, actually. If I feel that a teacher isn’t being fair, I will tell them in the nicest way possible. (But if that doesn’t work, you can forget about the smile!) Because of this, I have talked to myself into several higher grades as well as a say in the class agenda. Outside of school, I recall times I used the “speak my mind” card. During “all-star” softball, I was playing 3^rd base, and my friend was pitching. She wasn’t doing very well, and the other team composed of 15 ten-year old girls kept yelling “BALL, BALL, BALL! GOODEYE!” I could tell that Morgan, my teammate, was close to tears, so I began making snarky remarks back. Whenever Morgan would throw a strike, I’d let the other team know. My coach eventually had to talk to me, and I could see my mom doing her best to not laugh in the stands. While I probably took speaking my mind a little too far, I am still proud that I have the ability to let people know what I am thinking, and speak my mind when I think people aren’t doing the right thing. This is the most important thing my mom has ever taught me, and I will be able to continue to use it to my ability throughout my whole life.

My mom’s hard life has been the ultimate learning experience for me, because I have been able to surpass those life lessons and quickly adapt them to my own life. We have lived completely different lives yet somehow grown into very similar people. 

Grandfather, Bart Johnson, and his A4 Jet, Vietnam War

Then And Now

Being an “army brat” in general means being a child of a member of the army. It’s a completely different lifestyle from what we consider a “normal childhood”, but the lifestyle has made a few changes throughout our history of war. Because of advancements in technology, human rights, and other changes in our world, being an “army brat” has continued to evolve.

The first war to be broadcasted was the Vietnam War, and this changed how the world viewed War. US citizens had access to more detail, and people learned what was really happening in the war, as opposed to what they thought they knew from popular propaganda. My grandfather flew a fighter plane in the war, but that’s all the information my mother had about him. However, she recently discovered that her mother, who was listening to broadcasts and being informed of his whereabouts, knew more details of what my grandfather was involved in, and where he was. Despite having this knowledge, my grandmother decided to keep it from my mom. When I asked my mom if she wished she knew more about what was happening, she responded with “Yes, I am very interested in details. I like to understand what is going on.” With knowledge of what is really happening, it might be scary to a child, but often times it’s helpful for them to understand what their parent is really doing, and why.

Another technological advancement that has changed the way the “army brat” is brought up is the Internet. Before the Internet, contact with the deployed soldiers was practically unheard of. There was maybe a letter here and there, but nothing like what we have now. These days, spouses and children can email, call, and video chat with their soldier, and this increases knowledge of what is happening abroad. On top of more contact with soldiers abroad, US citizens are seeing more footage and details of what is happening overseas. News channels like Fox and CNN reveal details about soldiers who were killed in action, as well has updates on how the war has progressed. While some would say that this installs more fear in the minds of those at home, others would argue that it is comforting to hear the voices and see the faces of their loved ones.One big drawback of the evolved technology is that sometimes deaths of soldiers are revealed on television before the families are even informed. Privacy is no longer an option.

Throughout history, human rights have progressed, and still continue to. Pre-Cold War, women were not allowed to participate in active combat- they were simply allowed to serve as nurses and in other supporting roles. This meant that men were typically the only ones abroad, and the women were at home with the children. Times have changed, however, and now an estimated 50,000 military families have both parents serving overseas. This leaves children at home without parents, being raised by other family or nannies. Although these children can still video chat and contact their parents, they are most likely to see them as more of an aunt/uncle type figure in their life.

Another change in the military lifestyle includes less on-base housing. An advantage of the on-base housing is that military families are grouped with families just like theirs, making the lifestyle easier. The support of peers similar to yourself makes people feel more accepted, and in this case, not so lonely. However, the modern military family is less likely to live on base, causing them to be surrounded by “normal” families.

Changes in the lifestyles of “old school brats” vs. “modern brats” are both positive and negative. There is no easy way to live continents away from your loved ones, and the feelings of loss will always be difficult.

Below are photos of Army Parents seeing there kids after being deployed for a long period of time. Some of these photos document the first time fathers see their baby.